The curse of being young is that you don’t know what you don’t know. There’s no way you could. The curse of age is that you now know what you didn’t know but have no way of going back. Maybe there is something about maturity that teaches you when it’s time to let go of those regrets you can do nothing about. Today as I type, the changes are circling my life. Some things are speeding up, like the growth and activity of my children, and other things are winding down, like my use of a stroller or teaching the ABCs. My oldest is going to be 12 in a month and my baby isn’t a baby at all at 5 years old, learning to read. My marriage is 16 years old and still we’re learning how to show up and be better together than we have in the past. I’ve spent several years reviewing homeschool curriculum but that is changing in the near future. We have been active in our co-op for a few years but this year it has increased drastically. All three kids are in our local homeschool choir and 2 of them get the chance to be part of a state honor choir this year. Mr. Butler and I had the unique chance to sing in choir together in college and it is one of our favorite memories together. Our kids getting the chance to experience a taste of that and loving it makes me a bit weepy, I’ll admit. Learning about ADHD a few years ago and now having the ability to recognize what system is failing and why in order to remedy meltdowns and outbursts is a little surreal. So much is changing while there’s so much I wish I could go back and do differently.

There was a time when I longed to be married, to have children, to be an accepted adult. Oh, how I wish I could talk to that girl and reassure her of a few things and teach her many more. There are relationships that I had that I wish I would have nurtured differently. There are opportunities that I wish I hadn’t been so afraid of. There are choices that I wish I had responded differently to. That regret has eaten me up at times, especially when I worry that my choice might have neglected someone. I have worried about or felt responsible for many a foolish choice by people I love. They were never my responsibility, but my heart has resisted accepting that. So, as the leaves are changing and the weather is cooling off, my spidey sense knows things are changing elsewhere too. One of those big changes is a choice I’ve delayed in making for far too long. Those regrets, those missed chances or balls dropped, I am going to let them go. The foolishness of youth can’t be deleted in the scheduled future. There are only the wise priorities of maturity and age that matter today. When my daughter was 2, I fought with her a lot on taking naps. She would throw fits and I would get so worn out and stressed. I should have just laid down with her to help her sleep. I regret all the stress that I experienced and caused because I didn’t understand what was going on with either one of us. I feel responsible for that stage in her life that could have gone better. It is tempting to lean in to the misery of regret. I should have done so much better, but I can’t do ANYTHING about it now. But I can take joy in how often that same girl wants to sit next to me or hold my hand as we walk. I can be forever grateful that I now understand how important it is for her to stay home sometimes or not go too long without eating. She and I don’t do big roller coasters. She takes comfort in knowing that she can decline any ride she wants because I will always stay with her and then ride milder ones with her. I need to let go of the inflamed part of our relationship from a few years ago and cling to the beautiful one still unfolding in front of me.

There are relationships that I’ve been waiting on to turn around and fill my needs too. There are boundaries that I’ve hoped others would respect without much of a word from me. There are responsibilities that were never mine to begin with that I’ve carried far too long. It’s time to embrace and appreciate what is instead of living in agony over what isn’t. Change is never easy but sometimes you are given gifts that help you know it’s time. My mama heart for having more kids was convicted otherwise after my 3rd pregnancy and all of its challenges. The perpetual pain of rejection can push you into moving on eventually. There just comes a time when you realize there’s no use in wasting anymore time on the things that aren’t serving you or other people. I’m thankful that I’m finally turning that corner.

Due to all the changes in my life, my personal writing has taken a back seat and I’ve only taken time to focus on reviews lately. As things are shifting even more, I hope to spend more time using this platform for personal writing purposes. I miss it. I need it. It’s where I really started anyway and I’m ready to go back there. Writing about what happened helps you process and learn from what happened. It’s a truth that I’ve gotten away from in the name of busy-ness but I’m learning I need to get back there to keep it all together. Here’s to change…

DISCLOSURE: I RECEIVED THIS COMPLIMENTARY PRODUCT THROUGH THE HOMESCHOOL REVIEW CREW.

Among the many lessons we have learned over the past two years, the importance of healthy habits is certainly one of the more important ones. The choices we make on a daily basis create or destroy health and teaching our children this fact is an important part of our jobs as parents. The messages they receive from society are mixed at best and almost always biased. How to care for their bodies and health has to start at home. American Coaching Academy works to equip educators, coaches and parents with some versatile tools to make daily choices become habits and those habits fun to keep track of. My review today is of Healthy Habit Trackers from American Coaching Academy.

What We Received:

We received Healthy Habit Trackers, a digital file of 12 different 30 day healthy challenges and a file of empty habit trackers that allow you to enter in the tracked tasks.

How It Works:

When you purchase this product you receive two files, one has the tasks already set for you to keep track of and the other allows you to fill in tasks of your own choosing. The files are essentially the same except one is lacking all habit designations. The pre-made tasks consist of things like exercises, water drinking, fruit and vegetable consumption, good hygiene, sleep, and kindness. Many of them include movement and exercise in timed elements. For example, there might be a minute of running in place or jumping jacks. The trackers are not in any particular order so there is no plan or value to use them in a particular way. The pre-made trackers certainly give you good ideas if you aren’t sure where to starts. On each of them there is some way to colorfully or plainly keep track of habits. The different designs, especially once filled out, can be quite motivating all by themselves depending on the age of the students.. Using different colored markers or pens.

What We Thought:

Since there were 12 different pre-made options, it was a little overwhelming to decide which one to go with. I let my kids pick what they wanted at first, but they needed help narrowing their options down. Making your own in some ways seemed a little more desirable just because it can accommodate a number of habits into one sheet. The concept of coloring in boxes or shapes daily, especially with different colors is a lot of fun to my 8 (almost 9) year old daughter. My boys (5 and 11) went along just fine, but coloring didn’t seem nearly as motivating. There is no reason that an adult can’t use these, especially the blank ones and from an ADHD perspective, their novelty could be highly motivating for a while.

Making regular healthy choices is not an easy conviction to have or change to make. These fun habit trackers encourage personal responsibility and good level of independence that is always needing in growing families. And as a digital file, you can use them again and again! When you’re looking ahead towards the next school year, Healthy Habit Trackers are a great option for commitment and creative organization!

Find American Coaching Academy on Social Media:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AmericanCoachingAcademy/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/americancoachingacademy/_created/

How did this product work in other families? Check out the Crew’s reviews through the link below:

I can remember as a teenager living with my parents getting so annoyed at car commercials. I don’t mean the ones where some company showcases their latest model. I’m talking about the loudmouthed guy hollering out deals and details about his new and used cars ready to move. Never, ever has one of those commercials convinced me to visit their lot. If anything the obnoxious sound motivated me to skip them if I could help it. I don’t know how other people shop for cars, but I usually know what I’m in the market for and just go where they sell those. Commercials like that are a waste of time, in my opinion.

And, folks, 25 years later the media as a whole is now in the same boat as those used car lot commercials. When they aren’t out right lying, the contradictions are endless. It is understandable that people get it wrong sometimes. You and I both know that. We are all human, after all. Still, that’s not what this is anymore. From cancel culture to conflicts of interest, there are a lot of people motivated by greed and evil. That alone means we cannot rely on our culture’s mouthpiece to tell us the truth. Whether you are looking for health advice or finance tips, the world is not going to spoon-feed you truth. Because everyone in positions of authority or expertise are evil? No. At least I hope not. No, it’s because the messages being shoved in our faces like a used car salesman screams out of the tv aren’t trustworthy on their own merit. They have been proven wrong, proven distorted and often motivated by evil intentions. We as a society have been resisting it for a while, but the time has come for us to take care of ourselves without expecting society to do it for us.

Maybe you’re thinking about a homesteading commune up in Montana right about now. The thought is tempting, but that’s not exactly where I’m headed. I’m talking about truth and how we can walk in it. From scripture to oil changes, diet to history books, we have to get our hands dirty in order to determine what is true or not. How can you know if the preacher is misapplying scripture? You have to know the Bible and be able to search it yourself. How can you tell if your financial investor is a crook? It might help if you paid attention to where your money is going. Have you noticed how many times science has changed its mind over the last 50 years like whether eggs are bad, fat is bad, milk is good? How can you know the truth? You have to dig in and not take one person’s word for it. How can we protect our children and families from predators of all kinds? We have to be paying attention.

From the moment that remote kept us from having to get up to change the channel, we started to take a dive into a very comfortable place. It is so comfortable that we stopped paying attention. The preacher will tell me what is right. The school will make sure the kids are okay. The doctor wouldn’t lead me wrong. The finance guy would never steal my money. The grocery store surely wouldn’t sell something that might make me sick. And everyone will do what they are supposed to. Except many, many times they don’t. I’m not suggesting that we live a cold life full of mistrust, anxiety and panic. I’m just trying to remind you that nobody else is going to do it for you. All are human and subject to sin. Even the best ones aren’t going to think for you and your family’s particular needs and circumstances. No one is going to force you look for the truth in all things.

I have found it hard to write lately because there is just so much stress, controversy and evil blazing around. It’s hard to know what to say. Growing up as a Christian in a very Christian nation makes for sometimes ill-prepared adults when the wind changes. As an alternative health, homeschooling, ADHD-suffering, Christian mom, I’ve felt like a black sheep my whole life. If you’re new to feeling outnumbered, here are some things to remember.

-Acceptance and approval does NOT equal doing the right thing. Doing the RIGHT thing usually means doing what is the opposite of the masses.

-The big picture is more important. Media and culture will try to convince you that it’s not that big of a deal. There are lasting effects to every choice we make. Do you know what your choice today means for the big picture tomorrow? If you haven’t thought about it, you should right now.

-Harmonize. As Christians we trust in the Bible to show us truth. That means any choice or decision should be in harmony with the whole gospel, not just that verse you picked out. Make it ALL make sense. If you can’t, then let’s reconsider.

-If you’re not sure what to do, it’s probably time to get your hands dirty learning and growing.

There has been evil since the days of Noah and nothing new under the sun. To some everything looks full of doom and gloom. Maybe it is, but that doesn’t change God’s promises. In each moment in time when God has brought victory in some way, there was a lot of doom and gloom. We might be out of practice in going against the grain in our daily culture, but we still have the tools God has provided us. They haven’t changed or grown dull, if we choose to use them. I’ve gotten several why questions lately about various evil or wrong things happening in the world and I almost don’t want to answer them. I’d rather the world go back to “normal” and we can ignore the evil as much as possible. Still, my kids are growing up in all of this so we have to address it. Why doesn’t it look like the truth is winning in some places? The best answer I’ve come up with is that God is allowing us to work a little harder for the truth. The good stuff doesn’t come easy and the world has given up on the good stuff in hopes the easy will be enough. And they are getting their reward.

DISCLOSURE: I RECEIVED THIS COMPLIMENTARY PRODUCT THROUGH THE HOMESCHOOL REVIEW CREW.

For Christian parents, the real battleground is the hearts of our children. There is pain in the world that we pray they can avoid, but that isn’t always possible. We pour over decisions about ball teams, birthday parties and squabbles, but it’s easy to forget that the most important concern we should have is their relationship with God. And, that begins at home from the very start. Today’s review, Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible by Danika Cooley and Bethany House Publishers, focuses readers on the why and how parents can share the Bible with their family.

What We Received:

We received the book Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible by Danika Cooley with Bethany House Publishers. It is a paperback book consisting of 198 pages, a contents and notes section.

What It Says:

Danika Cooley writes as though you had just asked her about teaching children about the Bible. All the different topics flow naturally from a long conversation you might have over lunch. Why is the Bible important? Is it relevant to our digital age? Why do parents need to invest their time in it? How can young kids grasp anything? Where do we start? Should I skip some parts? What about questions I can’t answer? What if we disagree on things? The first half of the book discusses all of this and more. Whatever hesitations or concerns you might have about reading and studying the Bible with your kids, I think she covers it. The second half dives into the actual study of the Bible together. Where did the Bible come from? How can we trust it? Why are there so many different books and how do they fit? What does it all have to do with the gospel? How can we understand some of this? As she shares experiences with her own family, a picture of what Bible time can look like at different ages and maturity starts to materialize. The book is concluded with a few historical instances of the power a parent’s Biblical teaching and leading and encouragement for the readers journey.

What I Thought:

I was raised in a Christian family where Bible study was a part of our life and our church strove to know what the Bible says. Having that background, I enjoyed Danika Cooley’s writing and appreciated the way she lined out a family’s relationship with the Bible. My favorite quote was, “Your kids are the right age for Jesus.” I believe this 100% after being raised around Biblical teaching and now doing the same with my kids 10, 8 and 4. They are never too young to grasp something! The seeds of obedience and a clear “No!” are concepts better learned as early as possible, in my experience, so why wouldn’t we surround them with God’s teaching to reinforce it.

There are a few points of theology that I disagree with regarding original sin and elements of salvation taught in the Bible that I’d be happy to discuss with anyone, if you have questions. Still, the couple of statements in this area did not take away from the main message of making Bible time a priority for you and your family. Even though we have included Bible in our homeschool from the beginning, she does a great job of describing realistic options and techniques for managing different ages and circumstances. It has certainly boosted my commitment and built up my arsenal of whys and hows for a new school year!

Follow Bethany House on Social Media:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BHPnonfiction
Twitter: https://twitter.com/bethany_house
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bethany_house_nonfiction/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/bethanyhouse
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/bethanyhouse

Follow Danika Cooley on Social Media:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DanikaCooleyAuthor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DanikaCooley
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danikacooleyauthor
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/danikacooley/_created/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/DanikaCooley

Are you new to Bible study in your family? Check out what other family’s had to say about this book and its approach through the link below.

I wanted to cry. Miss Z's soccer team had just made a goal - their first goal of the entire season. Before you go calling me a silly soccer mom, know that this was the next to last game of the season. They hadn't scored a single goal all season long. That unbelievable moment - a moment that we as parents and spectators had begun to think wouldn't happen this season - was full of delirious screams and wild jumping around. We still lost the game, but went on to score two more times after that and were just as excited every time. These girls had worked hard, but had a few things working against them all season. They were a new team, for one. They only had 2 subs while most teams had 4 or 5. And since they were low on sign-ups, they were a combination of age levels playing up in half the team's case and physically smaller than most of their opponents. All things that weren't anyone's fault really and we had certainly seen growth in just a few short weeks but none of that helps much when you're feeling discouraged at the losses. So, when a shot finally went in today, you better believe we rejoiced!

Losing, whether it be in sports or any part of life, is just that way. When you experience poverty, you have a greater appreciation for abundance. When you lose loved ones early in life, you have a great capacity to appreciate those around you now. Losing means struggling. Struggling gives you the chance to learn things and to grow in ways not possible otherwise. In sports it is natural and tempting to want your child to be on a winning team. When your team isn't winning you might talk bad about the other team or give the refs a hard time or even switch teams just to avoid losing. We all can slip into a sore loser mentality and make a 7 year old's soccer game about our personal validation. But, let me remind you that not only does it make you look foolish, but also your child misses the chance to learn skills to help her thrive in life for years to come.

Did you read that right? Losing a soccer game or not getting the lead or even getting dealt the worst hand in life, is usually one of the biggest catalysts in personal development and growth. Life is full of losses and the most successful people are the ones who struggle enough to actually learn how to do it better next time. Not to mention that the gratitude for the wins is so much bigger and sweeter when you have really lost and then found success with much effort. As parents we are wired to not want our kids to hurt, but sometimes we forget the purpose in some of that pain.

As much as I want to see that beautiful daughter of mine score a dozen goals, if only to see her excitement, it is more important to see her face any looming mountain in her life with endurance, ingenuity and an attitude to try again when she loses. I love it when my kids win, as we all should I think, but today reminded me how valuable losing truly is to being a success in life.

In our family, we can struggle to focus in a variety of ways. Focus Attention is one of the ways we manage symptoms of ADHD in adults AND kids!

I don’t know what the age limit is for ‘small kids’, but I feel like maybe I’ve almost graduated with my youngest being 4 years old! This past week my family spent time vacationing in Tennessee and it was so relaxing that I was reminded of how hard it was when we first started. Vacationing with small kids is no picnic and we learned that the hard way. Here are a few things we learned that have helped us all feel good on the trips we take.

1. Do NOT expect a vacation. It’s NOT a vacation. Call it a trip. A vacation - when you have small children in tow - is absolutely NOT a vacation. A change of scenery, sure. A chance to explore, maybe. A vacation - a break from your regular life? Not at all. The kids will still make demands on your life that is largely out of control. Eating, sleeping and bathroom schedules will still reign supreme. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

2. Do NOT make a rigid schedule. Kids are bound to slow you down and change your schedule at the most inopportune time. When you plan a trip with small children - okay anything with small children - and you try to confine yourself to a tight schedule that, if adjusted, makes you lose your mind, you are asking for stress and then more stress. Loose plans, lots of ideas, or even just deciding what your must does are, all good. But if you can’t let people rest when they need to rest or switch gears when something doesn’t pan out, it’s likely that no one will have a very good time.

3. Do NOT forget your family’s needs. Don’t expect whatever you or your family need in a normal week at home to suddenly not exist on a trip. Like a diabetic on insulin isn’t going to magically do fine without simply because they’re on a trip, your family’s needs aren’t going to drastically change either. For us, that means things like cooking more than we eat out, including lots of physical activity in nature, and, my favorite, alone time for mom! Building in accommodations for those needs is something you won’t regret.

4. Do NOT feel compelled to spend loads of money. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is EASY to spend money on trips. Eating by itself can take up a large part of the budget. Still, recognize that your family can make memories anywhere! Most places we stay have a pool close by and is a favorite every single time. We also find the closest library and can usually get a temporary card. Hiking is almost always FREE and an adventure they will remember.

5. Do NOT stay in hotels. Of course, this isn’t always possible, but I highly recommend making sure kids have their own bedroom when you can. In a typical hotel, everyone is stuck in the same room with no place for a break from each other. 2-3 bedroom condos are our favorite because everyone has their space and we can cook whenever we want. Through Mr. Butler’s work we’re part of a vacation club and when we wait for a good sale, we can end up only paying $50 a night! It’s definitely something to look into.

It can be difficult for young parents to shift their mindset from ‘what do I want to do on this trip?’ to “how can my family best enjoy their time together?” Speaking from experience, it takes a few trips to really find a groove that works for everyone, but you won’t regret it! My oldest is 10 and still gets excited about going back to Fairfield Bay, AR, one of our first condo trips together. Is it because of some grand roller coaster or expensive excursion? Nope. We go hiking, swimming at the pool and check books out at the local library. To him and his sister, it is magical!