How are you spending your time? Are the things I’m consumed with today worth my time, considering I only have so much? When your children move out, what values will they carry with them? When they start their families, what priorities will they have learned from their years in your house? When their marriages get difficult, finances get rough or medical hardships overtake their life, will they have learned strong and resilient lessons from watching you climb your own mountains? When I am finished with my life here on earth, will my loved-ones carry regret over how much time I spent looking elsewhere for contentment or satisfaction? Will the relationship with God that I model throughout my life be one they are trying to imitate or will it be the “What NOT to do” guideline they live by?

As the busyness of school, sports, holidays and just life gets stirred up this time of year, our priorities can get really jumbled. The list of HAVE-TOs are largely made up by expectation and peer pressure when you really think about it. So many things we do are good or nice, but when we let them get in the way of what’s important, they’ve become a problem.

It is so easy to fall into have to mode before you’ve even really thought about it. Honestly, that’s hard any time of year. Music, committees, programs, sports, social clubs, co-ops, and jobs of all kinds can be very good for our families. We are heavily involved in several of these things in my family right now. They are valuable on so many levels. But it becomes a problem for my marriage if our involvement in anything eliminates all the downtime for just us. Or these activities become a problem if we are always missing time with family or worship because a job or sports team takes up the majority of our life. If my child moves out of my house and can’t fill a dishwasher, do a load of laundry or change a tire because all of his extra activities always came first, then I believe that’s a problem. If another child aces every test she takes, places first in everything she plays, and racks up a full ride scholarship to the best places, but can’t say a kind word to anyone or has no real appreciation for what Jesus has done for her, then there is a problem. No matter what we’re talking about, there’s always a line where really good things, can become a problem.

So, the purpose of a November Reset for Priorities is to eliminate or prevent those kinds of problems creeping in. In this year alone Randy has coached 2 soccer teams for 2 seasons and 1 season of t-ball in the middle of it, I have taken on a significantly larger responsibility at our local co-op, all 3 kids have joined the homeschool choir (which is a big driving commitment), and we’ve taken several trips on top of regular life and school stuff. All those things are good things and largely things we don’t regret in time spent. But there is a constant nagging in my brain that says, “Did we get to all the important stuff though?”

When I think about resetting my priorities, it looks like taking stock of the next several weeks and boiling them down to what’s really important. If 6 weeks go by, what are the most important things I hope to accomplish or facilitate? In 6 weeks, I could change the course of a relationship, establish new routines, eliminate bad habits, learn a new skill, and so many other things. We say we can’t get to things, but the truth is many of those can’ts are just non-priorities. We haven’t decided they are more important than the things we do get to. We all prioritize choices every day. The question is are those the important ones.

And after looking at your life, maybe you’ll come to the conclusion that you ARE prioritizing the important things. What a comfort that is! But, maybe like me, you see some things that you wish were different. The reminder I need is that it isn’t too late to grow over the next several weeks. Whatever needs tending to or refocused on, we can push a reset button and commit differently this time. One of the ways I want to adjust is my internal dialogue and how that affects how I think about my family. Here’s an example. When I get sick, I wish Randy took care of me the way my mother does. He will largely do anything I ask, but I have to hand out the instructions, which I wish I didn’t have to do. There isn’t a big right or wrong here but simply preference. We got sick over the weekend and I did have a bit of resentment over wanting to just burrow further into my bed and instead needed to get up and cover all the bases somehow. But today, that husband of mine offered to run an errand (with kids) for me so that I could have some time to myself. He even tacked on extra library time mostly just to give me extra time. He knows I need it and that I need to write. My mental commentary leans heavy to the negative. I know it. I’m pretty certain it’s genetic in more ways than one. The point is this. I should appreciate the good good man that I married for what he is, rather than get hung up on what he isn’t - especially when we’re talking about preferences. I don’t do that enough, but what if I set an intention for the next six weeks to dwell on and appreciate the things he does out of love. If I really tried, couldn’t I strengthen our relationship and encourage him as my partner with a more positive outlook directed at him? Lord willing, no matter where the kids go and what they do, my husband will be my constant friend. Why wouldn’t I want that dynamic to thrive every chance I get?

Maybe you simply want to walk through the holidays with peace and calm. Maybe your health is in a crisis and you need to make changes. Maybe there’s a project or skill that you’ve neglected for too long. Perhaps we’ve just let all these things in life to take our eyes off of Jesus and what He wants us to be doing. Whatever it is, let’s take stock and reset our priorities.

Exercise is something I really don’t feel like writing about, much less doing right now. So, that probably means it needs a reset in a major way. I always feel better when I exercise, even though I hate doing it. Yes, I know I’m complicated! Did you know physical activity is one of the top treatments for ADHD symptoms? Since 4 out of the 5 people in my household struggle with symptoms from time to time, it would be pretty foolish to ignore the value of exercise in our life. That’s one of the many reasons we incorporate sports into our kids’ lives regularly. Furthermore, healthy movement just makes everything work better. You sleep better. Your brain works better. Your mood is better. Circulation improves. Strengthens bones and muscles. It’s just really important to a healthy mind and body.

I know all this and I suspect you do too, but it is so incredibly easy to neglect exercise when we get busy or tired or stressed or…just about any reason. This summer I focused on coping better with stress. One of the big things I did was to incorporate yoga as a main source of exercise. Mr. Butler did it with me, which made it even better. I do much better with an accountability partner. Since the fall semester started back up, it has been hard to sync up our schedules and I’ve just been busy. Not an excuse, but it is real life. So, we’ll walk a few miles when we are both home in the day, but I have not been diligent with myself in any way. All hopes for a healthy exercise routine isn’t lost just because the vitamin D potential starts to decrease. I know it can feel that way, but that just means my body needs the immune boost even more this time of year.

Maybe you have a gym membership and don’t use it like me because of logistics. We have a Y membership, but I never want to bother getting the kids out. Since they are all old enough and trustworthy to put in the child watch/older kid hangout, maybe I should pick one day a week to at least switch it up? I know that I’m going to try to utilize my bicycle and stationary bike more, get back to yoga regularly and walk with Randy as much as I can. I’ve just not had any reason to follow through. I know that sounds silly, but my ADHD friends will understand. Since I’m writing about it and telling the universe to look at what I’m doing so to speak, well I’ll carry around some guilt if I don’t follow through! And I certainly don’t need anymore of that.

Getting exercise in every day is one of those all or nothing temptations for me. If I intended to do a particular activity at a particular time and then something messed that up? Well, just forget it. The day is lost. That’s the wrong approach of course, but it is sooo tempting to my brain that craves order and over reacts in the most rigid of ways. For this exercise reset, I’m striving to include movement - even if it isn’t what I intended when I woke up that day - every day. Tomorrow I’m going to use my watch that’s been dead for a month and haven’t bothered to find the charger until tonight. I’m hoping I’ll have an easy 10,000 steps without too much work, but I haven’t been tracking for a while so I’m not sure. Either way, having a minimum goal and then trying to improve upon that will hopefully jumpstart my motivation.

More than anything, a reset is intended to help us focus on what’s important and valuable rather than what is convenient and thoughtless. Finishing a meal and then sitting for another hour until bedtime is thoughtless and convenient, but it isn’t necessarily important or valuable. Playing soccer as a family for 20 minutes or walking to the pond or doing some yoga not only feeds the health of your physical body, but it can connect you to those around you, get you outside in many cases and bring joy into you’re life too! Do you have a good workout routine? Are you recommitting to one this week? It would encourage me to hear about it so let me know how it’s going!

As the beginning of November chimes, I don’t want to be rushed into and out of the events of the next several weeks. While it feels futile to fight the rush sometimes, I need reminding that it isn’t too late to reset some things in my life. We have so much more control of our lives than we often are willing to admit and the weeks before Thanksgiving are a great opportunity to take back what is mine. If I want to make healthier choices, learn a new skill or grow closer to someone, the days ahead of me are unwritten and wide open for any of that. I just have to reset my thoughts and intentions with that in mind. So, that’s what we are going to do. My October was really pretty good, but even if it wasn’t, November can be beautiful.

My oldest child was born in November and my end of the year memories were forever colored by his first infant days. It didn’t matter what the rest of the world was doing, Randy and I were beginning to wade in the ocean of parenthood for the very first time. I never want to forget that spark of excitement and awe in the air. So much of it was so terribly hard, but still, I couldn’t deny that I had done this incredibly hard thing and lived to tell about it. There is hope in November to climb a mountain, to start again and to be filled with joy. So, all month I’m going to be writing about different ways I need to reset. I hope you’ll join me and share how you are resetting this month. Follow me on Instagram where I’ll be sharing more ideas and maybe some videos about it.