How are you spending your time? Are the things I’m consumed with today worth my time, considering I only have so much? When your children move out, what values will they carry with them? When they start their families, what priorities will they have learned from their years in your house? When their marriages get difficult, finances get rough or medical hardships overtake their life, will they have learned strong and resilient lessons from watching you climb your own mountains? When I am finished with my life here on earth, will my loved-ones carry regret over how much time I spent looking elsewhere for contentment or satisfaction? Will the relationship with God that I model throughout my life be one they are trying to imitate or will it be the “What NOT to do” guideline they live by?

As the busyness of school, sports, holidays and just life gets stirred up this time of year, our priorities can get really jumbled. The list of HAVE-TOs are largely made up by expectation and peer pressure when you really think about it. So many things we do are good or nice, but when we let them get in the way of what’s important, they’ve become a problem.

It is so easy to fall into have to mode before you’ve even really thought about it. Honestly, that’s hard any time of year. Music, committees, programs, sports, social clubs, co-ops, and jobs of all kinds can be very good for our families. We are heavily involved in several of these things in my family right now. They are valuable on so many levels. But it becomes a problem for my marriage if our involvement in anything eliminates all the downtime for just us. Or these activities become a problem if we are always missing time with family or worship because a job or sports team takes up the majority of our life. If my child moves out of my house and can’t fill a dishwasher, do a load of laundry or change a tire because all of his extra activities always came first, then I believe that’s a problem. If another child aces every test she takes, places first in everything she plays, and racks up a full ride scholarship to the best places, but can’t say a kind word to anyone or has no real appreciation for what Jesus has done for her, then there is a problem. No matter what we’re talking about, there’s always a line where really good things, can become a problem.

So, the purpose of a November Reset for Priorities is to eliminate or prevent those kinds of problems creeping in. In this year alone Randy has coached 2 soccer teams for 2 seasons and 1 season of t-ball in the middle of it, I have taken on a significantly larger responsibility at our local co-op, all 3 kids have joined the homeschool choir (which is a big driving commitment), and we’ve taken several trips on top of regular life and school stuff. All those things are good things and largely things we don’t regret in time spent. But there is a constant nagging in my brain that says, “Did we get to all the important stuff though?”

When I think about resetting my priorities, it looks like taking stock of the next several weeks and boiling them down to what’s really important. If 6 weeks go by, what are the most important things I hope to accomplish or facilitate? In 6 weeks, I could change the course of a relationship, establish new routines, eliminate bad habits, learn a new skill, and so many other things. We say we can’t get to things, but the truth is many of those can’ts are just non-priorities. We haven’t decided they are more important than the things we do get to. We all prioritize choices every day. The question is are those the important ones.

And after looking at your life, maybe you’ll come to the conclusion that you ARE prioritizing the important things. What a comfort that is! But, maybe like me, you see some things that you wish were different. The reminder I need is that it isn’t too late to grow over the next several weeks. Whatever needs tending to or refocused on, we can push a reset button and commit differently this time. One of the ways I want to adjust is my internal dialogue and how that affects how I think about my family. Here’s an example. When I get sick, I wish Randy took care of me the way my mother does. He will largely do anything I ask, but I have to hand out the instructions, which I wish I didn’t have to do. There isn’t a big right or wrong here but simply preference. We got sick over the weekend and I did have a bit of resentment over wanting to just burrow further into my bed and instead needed to get up and cover all the bases somehow. But today, that husband of mine offered to run an errand (with kids) for me so that I could have some time to myself. He even tacked on extra library time mostly just to give me extra time. He knows I need it and that I need to write. My mental commentary leans heavy to the negative. I know it. I’m pretty certain it’s genetic in more ways than one. The point is this. I should appreciate the good good man that I married for what he is, rather than get hung up on what he isn’t - especially when we’re talking about preferences. I don’t do that enough, but what if I set an intention for the next six weeks to dwell on and appreciate the things he does out of love. If I really tried, couldn’t I strengthen our relationship and encourage him as my partner with a more positive outlook directed at him? Lord willing, no matter where the kids go and what they do, my husband will be my constant friend. Why wouldn’t I want that dynamic to thrive every chance I get?

Maybe you simply want to walk through the holidays with peace and calm. Maybe your health is in a crisis and you need to make changes. Maybe there’s a project or skill that you’ve neglected for too long. Perhaps we’ve just let all these things in life to take our eyes off of Jesus and what He wants us to be doing. Whatever it is, let’s take stock and reset our priorities.