Putting Emotional Energy In Its Place

Remember that last injury you witnessed? That one where there was crying and shrieking involved for a while? As long as there was unattended pain and panic, the emotional upheaval was still present. Sometimes it takes a band-aid for everyone to calm down, but other times all it takes is an appropriate amount of crying or expression. The tornado of emotions that can happen - fear, panic, pain, anger, frustration - need a place to go, right?

This morning I had to have a little family meeting with my kids because there had been a LOT of bickering and explosions. We had spent 11+ hours in the car the last two days so everyone had a good reason to be everything they were - upset, mad, reactive, just all the things - but very little understanding for everyone else’s good reasons. In the discussion, my oldest piped up and said, “That’s why I ask to wrestle with Daddy because once I do that then I don’t feel like fighting anymore.” I love his intuitive nature and how it shows up at the perfect times. Emotional energy is a big deal. It’s an even bigger deal when you don’t put it in the right place.

This is almost the crux of my whole life! The need to express or verbalize has always been huge in my soul. I always feel a great need to talk more rather than less. Writing, creating, exploring - there always seems to be more within me. When I don’t have or utilize the proper outlets, I physically and emotionally react so negatively. We know this is human reality when we send the kids outside to play because they are driving us nuts inside. They need to go use up that energy. It is simple and complicated at the same time. The emotional and physical aspects are intertwined and deeply affect each other. When we don’t sleep enough, our emotional state goes south fast. As disappointment or deep stress comes into our life, physical symptoms can show up.

As my son wisely pointed out, we can handle life better when we properly manage our emotional energy. It’s simple and profound all in the same breath. What are some ways you use up emotional energy? Here are a few I’ve seen work well.

Physical Activity - Exercise, sports, gardening, manual labor

Creative Activity - Anything that involves creation - drawing, painting, building, making music

Verbalizing - Writing, talking, teaching others

Projects - Many projects combine these elements for an even more satisfying benefit.

These all seem so basic, but when they are NOT strategically found in our lives, everyone suffers. Even though soccer and baseball season can be busy and tiring, my kids physically and thus emotionally do much better during this time. It’s been about a month since practices ended and the bickering and, well, emotional energy has just been worse. Regulation of ourselves is harder when there is too much to regulate. Filling our lives with different avenues to express energy makes regulation easier.

Now, understanding these ideas and putting them into practice appropriately are entirely two different things. Still understanding is half the battle, so they say.