Mistaking Impatience for Serious Learning Problems

In our diagnosis-heavy culture, a good-hearted mama can convince herself of all kinds of trouble at the slightest hint of a learning challenge.  Normal developmental issues - like turning words around or crying over math that is 'too hard' - suddenly become scary things like dyslexia and failure to thrive in a mathematical world.  I don't know about you, but as a homeschool mom I can overthink and overreact, especially as it pertains to the success or failure of my kids.  One of the lessons I have learned over the last 5 years of homeschooling is that impatience is the cause of way more problems than legitimate learning disorders.  Maybe impatience is a legitimate learning disorder?! Of course, learning problems are everywhere and I don't mean to take away from their reality.  What I have seen, though, is that it is terribly easy to give up and slap on a diagnosis before we have considered the less complicated analysis.  What if your student is just in a hurry to finish their schoolwork and tries to work too quickly to notice all the mistakes?  What if it's easier to cry (in hopes of getting out of it) than to spend 5 extra seconds concentrating on that new math concept? 

My 10 year old son has cried foul a lot, especially when it comes to math.  A couple of years ago I panicked (a complete overreaction) thinking he just wasn't getting it and would always struggle with math.  After a couple of months of beating myself up over it I discovered he wasn't struggling like I thought.  In fact, his struggle wasn't really with math at all. He was an impatient boy who was in a hurry to be done.  When you try to rush new things, they can seem hard when in fact they are simply new and take time.  This applies to all subjects and ages alike.  Too hard is a very relative term and often false.  If we expect something to take a week to master and it realistically will take 3, there is bound to be frustration.  If we go into a new thing with the understanding that it isn't going to click right away, students are more likely to keep steadily at it. 

The next time you start to diagnose a major learning issue, you might try one of these ideas first.

-Accuracy. Reinforce that the goal is for work to be done right, not fast.  Double-checking work will actually save time in the long run.

-Time Commitment. 30 minutes of reading rather than 3 books can encourage students to take more time with their work allowing for fewer mistakes.

-Discuss expectations.  Sometimes we don't realize what we are expecting until we discuss it out loud. Are you expecting too much? Does your child understand what this subject is supposed to look like when done well?

Before you throw in the towel on a new skill or program, determine if someone (maybe even you, mom) is getting impatient rather than truly struggling.  For better or worse, the simplest answer is also the most likely answer.