Butler Academy Update: Fall 2023

We’re a few weeks into new habits and new curriculum and hanging out in the gap right before co-op, sports and various activities start up again. This year J is in the 7th grade with an actively lowering voice, feet almost as big as his dad’s and trying to master time management and independent work. Miss Z is in the 5th grade with fresh piano skills coming along, a great eye for drawing and those beautiful curls still bouncing! The Racecar is in the 1st grade with an industrial size creative streak that sort of tolerates my interruptions of schoolwork, a growing desire to entertain us and a new best friend in our dog, Scout. As parents, we often lump the three of them into ‘the kids’ category, but it is good for me to remember that they are 3 unique humans with different strengths, struggles and lives to lead.

They are all doing well overall, but I think this will be the year that we lean into ADHD processes and solutions as a family. With Miss Z and I taking up the limelight in this category, the boys have gone overlooked when it comes to the speed of their brains. The brain differences of ADHD present themselves differently in boys and girls so if you’re only looking for one specific type of child, it’s easy to miss the rest. Looking at my kids through an ADHD lens doesn’t ultimately justify bad behavior or do away with standards. Instead it helps parent and child understand the child’s brain in order to equip it with better tools to address the real problem. Did you know that lying is a common ADHD symptom that results in the brain trying to cope with stress and avoid more trouble? Did you know that impulsivity and forgetfulness can create really sticky situations for kids that find it easier to lie to avoid making the issue worse? It doesn’t justify lying, but if I understand what might be going on, we can work together to solve the real problem. Otherwise, it often turns into a stand-off of punishments and parental frustrations that want to escalate. So, focusing on the uniqueness of all of their brains is the goal for now.

Since J started Kindergarten we have used My Father’s World for the bulk of our history, Bible and science curriculum and the Racecar just finished Kindergarten. Even in the curriculum I feel like we’re in a new place. This year we are studying Exploration to 1850 (American History) and attempting to memorize the entire book of James. I’m excited about the American History, but the memorization is a bit daunting - parents are encouraged to do it too of course. So, we’ll see how it goes! J is trying out volleyball at the Y for a change and the other two are continuing in soccer. With co-op and choir, we keep busy. We also are attempting to try out Trail Life and Heritage Girls. We’ve heard good things so as long as it doesn’t put a strain on our schedule, we’re optimistic. The legitimate debate about how much extra-curricular is too much is a fine line. I never realized how tricky it becomes when you have a full spread of ages. How much different is my youngest’s life than my oldest when he was that age because of how much we did or didn’t do outside of the house? For better or worse? I don’t have a lot of answers, but checking in with each person in the family to see how they’re doing regularly seems like a great place to start. Are they struggling with important things? Do they have time for important things, relationships? If there is too much stress, it’s worth considering what can be left off this year. But it isn’t an exact science and every kid is different. :)

I would like to say being your child’s teacher is easy and wonderful, but that’s not a reasonable thing to say ever. Being the decision maker for a lot of things is a lot of work and pressure. That’s the reason many parents never consider homeschooling. Either they don’t feel capable or don’t want to the responsibility because it is a big job. That being said, I love being able to see the progression of all of my children from non-readers singing their ABC’s to readers who comprehend and laugh at a joke in something they just read. I’m thankful to discuss whether or not Christopher Columbus discovered America, whether there should be a holiday in his honor and what that means for us today. I get to do stuff like that all the time. I’m incredibly thankful for the freedom in Oklahoma, but also the hard work of Mr. Butler who makes sure I can stay home at all. This year I am focusing more on organization in preparation for J moving to high school in a few years and being more thankful because the wonder of learning is definitely growing older in our house. I want to enjoy it more before it develops into other kinds of wonderful things. I mean my oldest man-child was moved to the high school choir and can’t participate in the youth honor choir activities because his voice is officially changing!?! Ready or not, here we go!

While my kids are attempting to learn their slated things each year, mom ends up with her own education too, like it or not. As we head into September, I’m trying to learn how to take the time and space that I need to better manage my stress and mental health. And I’ll be honest, that is a hard thing. We don’t usually realize how bad we need some kind of break or space until it is too late. Most moms will tell you that when we feel handcuffed between needing to take care of ourselves (shower, exercise, write, plan, etc.) but feeling like the price of sacrifice is too high. It FEELS like someone else’s needs will have to be neglected in some way and then mom ultimately has to pay the price eventually anyway. My education this year is to learn how to do it all differently. If I want my children to ask for what they need to live a healthy, balanced life, then I must learn to demonstrate that for them.

So, there we are in a nutshell! The decision to homeschool is multi-faceted, but today I’m really thankful for the time I have with my kids.