I don’t know what the age limit is for ‘small kids’, but I feel like maybe I’ve almost graduated with my youngest being 4 years old! This past week my family spent time vacationing in Tennessee and it was so relaxing that I was reminded of how hard it was when we first started. Vacationing with small kids is no picnic and we learned that the hard way. Here are a few things we learned that have helped us all feel good on the trips we take.

1. Do NOT expect a vacation. It’s NOT a vacation. Call it a trip. A vacation - when you have small children in tow - is absolutely NOT a vacation. A change of scenery, sure. A chance to explore, maybe. A vacation - a break from your regular life? Not at all. The kids will still make demands on your life that is largely out of control. Eating, sleeping and bathroom schedules will still reign supreme. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

2. Do NOT make a rigid schedule. Kids are bound to slow you down and change your schedule at the most inopportune time. When you plan a trip with small children - okay anything with small children - and you try to confine yourself to a tight schedule that, if adjusted, makes you lose your mind, you are asking for stress and then more stress. Loose plans, lots of ideas, or even just deciding what your must does are, all good. But if you can’t let people rest when they need to rest or switch gears when something doesn’t pan out, it’s likely that no one will have a very good time.

3. Do NOT forget your family’s needs. Don’t expect whatever you or your family need in a normal week at home to suddenly not exist on a trip. Like a diabetic on insulin isn’t going to magically do fine without simply because they’re on a trip, your family’s needs aren’t going to drastically change either. For us, that means things like cooking more than we eat out, including lots of physical activity in nature, and, my favorite, alone time for mom! Building in accommodations for those needs is something you won’t regret.

4. Do NOT feel compelled to spend loads of money. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is EASY to spend money on trips. Eating by itself can take up a large part of the budget. Still, recognize that your family can make memories anywhere! Most places we stay have a pool close by and is a favorite every single time. We also find the closest library and can usually get a temporary card. Hiking is almost always FREE and an adventure they will remember.

5. Do NOT stay in hotels. Of course, this isn’t always possible, but I highly recommend making sure kids have their own bedroom when you can. In a typical hotel, everyone is stuck in the same room with no place for a break from each other. 2-3 bedroom condos are our favorite because everyone has their space and we can cook whenever we want. Through Mr. Butler’s work we’re part of a vacation club and when we wait for a good sale, we can end up only paying $50 a night! It’s definitely something to look into.

It can be difficult for young parents to shift their mindset from ‘what do I want to do on this trip?’ to “how can my family best enjoy their time together?” Speaking from experience, it takes a few trips to really find a groove that works for everyone, but you won’t regret it! My oldest is 10 and still gets excited about going back to Fairfield Bay, AR, one of our first condo trips together. Is it because of some grand roller coaster or expensive excursion? Nope. We go hiking, swimming at the pool and check books out at the local library. To him and his sister, it is magical!