This week my best friend had a birthday. We celebrated a little here and there, but this week has been a dive into busy routine with little time for huge fanfare. Since we aren’t able to fly to a faraway place or take a week off from real life to tour hole in the wall restaurants, I’m writing down some of what he’s done for me.

He picked me. He picked me in the beginning, but then he’s continued to over and over again. Lots of times when I didn’t really deserve it. He makes me laugh so much. As an engineering guy, his logic didn’t always know what to do with my colorful approach to life, but when I broke it, he tried his best to fix it. When I lost it, he would probably replace it. When I bite off more than I can chew, he helps me carry it. When I hurt his feelings, he (eventually) forgives me. When I’m stressed, he takes me on walks to talk about it. He gives me breaks, cooks almost half the time and takes willingly takes the kids on errands. He loves those kids and takes being their dad very seriously. He always looks at scripture in ways I would never have considered. When I’m driving and getting anxious - in the rain or a game of Mario Kart - he reminds me to look further down the road to see where the white lines are heading rather than getting hung up on what’s directly in front of me. When I dream, he tells me why it will never work, and then suggests something more achievable that’s usually better anyway.

He works really, really hard and most of the time isn’t quite sure he’s getting it right. His job is pretty demanding right now. He’s coaching a soccer and a volleyball team this season. He’s teaching a PE class at our co-op this semester. He plays games and makes art with our kids. He sits and talks stuff out when a kid (or two) isn’t getting it. And sometimes, he worries if any of it matters.

“What’s a soul mate?”

“It's uh... Well, it's like a best friend but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person. Actually, they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself - because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did, or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you will always love them. Nothing can ever change that.”
― Dawson Leery

While the whole soul mate idea may be debatable at best, the description in that quote hit me different. In our early years, I had a regular fear of him dying before we ever had kids. My young mind was afraid I would forget my life with him, but if we had kids that somehow I would have something to remember him with. It’s a silly, overactive mind that concocted that, but I understand now how he will be with me forever, no matter the future. We’ve been together long enough and been through enough hard stuff that if I ever have to live without him, his imprint on me is permanent. Our friendship, his encouragement, the commitment he makes daily to the life we’re trying to build is a gift from God that I haven’t really understood before this year.

So, Happy Birthday, Mr. Butler. It all matters more than you know.