I spent years dreaming about being a wife and mother, but I never imagined homeschooling being a part of my life. It wasn’t something I had ever really been exposed to or had thoughts about at all. My oldest is 12 and I started planning to homeschool him probably as soon as he was born. I had been sitting in college classrooms and listening to all the struggles classroom teachers were having with the current public school model and government framework. What was best for the individual child seemed continually at odds with what was practical, feasible and quantifiable in the classroom. I had been to school and college and I knew how to learn and to teach so why couldn’t I share that with my son? Of course, I would eventually learn about the hills and valleys of homeschooling but the bottom line stayed the same, especially in this internet age. Whatever I don’t know, I have resources regularly at my fingertips to begin educating me on it.

Now that we’ve been living this homeschooling lifestyle for over a decade, I have no regrets about the choice to homeschool. There are details I would change if I could and lessons I wish I had learned sooner, but I am so thankful for all the time I get to be a witness to my children’s growth. But does that mean we will always homeschool? Not necessarily. Does that mean they would fail miserably in another environment? Nope. Does that mean I believe that anyone who doesn’t homeschool is wrong? Of course not! Am I mad when other people make different choices than me? What? How does that even work? You can’t see it but I’m rolling my eyes at all of these questions! They are silly, but I’ve gotten a version of all of them before.

There will always be debates about the choices people make and arguments for or against, but I suspect that for the most part everyone just wants to feel confident in their own choice. A 1 bedroom apartment seems great until your friend upgrades to a penthouse. Eating dinner at the local diner seems fine until you hear about friends’ fine dining at a fancy steakhouse. Your nicest dress seems great until you see that fashion icon friend who can pull off anything and makes you feel frumpy. We often get sucked into comparison or validation-seeking behavior in all aspects of life, but especially when it comes to our parenting choices. How you educate your kids (public, private, or homeschool) just might be a huge stumbling block, but don’t forget that in each category are dozens of subcategories. The moment you choose a private school, there will be judgements made about it compared to the other one down the road. I always felt pretty judged for my (public) high school because we were inner-city and underfunded. You think homeschoolers just agree on everything and become inhuman once they make the jump? There are dozens of homeschooling styles, curriculum options and entirely different approaches to co-ops. No matter what you choose, you could feel judged by some for it. So, if you are making your education choices in hopes of being the least judged, good luck! There is judgement everywhere! Once you make peace with that, life gets a little simpler, I think.

If there is one thing I have learned and grown in conviction for over the last ten years it’s that when parents are able in body and mind and engaged in their kids lives, there is no better advocate in the world. No matter the educational choices, families can make or break the direction a child goes. I am thankful that homeschooling is an option for us, but don’t misunderstand me. There are homeschool kids that fail. There are private school kids that make horrible choices in their life. There are public school kids that are a menace to society. And in all of them, there are also wonderful, wonderful outcomes.

Never let yourself believe that one method is 100% right or wrong in all situations, because it isn’t true. There are competing factors that will always vary from kid to kid and family to family. Many private schools are out of our budget, but so are a lot of the co-ops in our area. Some students do not thrive in public or most private classrooms because of learning issues, but thrive in homeschool settings. Never believe that you would never adjust your choice if circumstances changed either. The resources we have or the needs of our children can change in a moment. Single parent households might be limited with time outside of work making homeschooling challenging at best. Parent health issues can change what’s possible. Whenever you feel judged for a choice or a heated discussion arises on the topic, remember that the most important thing is that our children get what they need and you have the best seat in the house to see what that is, especially if it changes.

I am an advocate of homeschooling, especially because historically there has been so much pushback against it. I’m living in it and seeing the beauty, value and success it is bringing my family. That’s why I write about it a lot. Still, I’m a mother first. Mothers look for what’s best for their kids and family, even if it doesn’t look like what others think it should. If you want to chat about homeschooling, I’m ready for it! But more importantly I want parents to feel encouraged to make whatever decisions are best for their kids’ and family’s needs. The world will be arguing about what that is until Jesus comes back so in the meantime, ignore them, decide what your family needs and love your people.